Watching The Glasshouse last night, I had yet another of those moments when I thought ‘Why am I watching this program?’ (about yet another ABC program). In fact, a couple of moments. For a start, there was an obnoxious American comedian on the program who managed to insinuate that he’d rather not kiss Corinne Grant on the cheek though he’d be happy to kiss Mia Friedman, because she was prettier. (We’re only talking social kissing here.) Then Will Smith read out a survey (of the genre ‘confirming things women would rather not believe are true of men’) which revealed that when men advertise in personals for GSOH, what they really mean is ‘someone who’ll laugh at my jokes’ rather than ‘someone who makes up their own jokes’. (This survey is probably also of the genre ‘not to be taken seriously’, mind you.) Loathsome toad-like American comedian with strange sense of seething arrogance/superiority that visiting American men often have, even when they’re trying to make all the right small ‘l’ left-liberal noises about American defence policy, decided to take things further by asserting that women don’t have a real sense of humour at all, and that only men are truly funny. Then nice little Mia Friedman (editor of Cosmo, et al) with her oh-so-flippy hair made valiant attempts to Keep It All Nice by discussing genres of Blokesome humour, while Strange Seething American Comedian and Corinne Grant descended into mutual seething mass. (Side-swipe: how did Mia Friedman manage to toss her head and oh-so-flippy hair every time she turned her head? I’ve had hair that length and all I can conclude is that must be a great product she’s using; I would have thought so many head tosses were otherwise aerodynamically impossible. Indeed, it seems she might be an Australian equivalent of the genus Strange British Cyberwomen with flippy (usually blonde) layered hair as seen on Coupling.) I found this conversation totally weird and spent much of it seething at Strange Toad-like American Comedian myself, thinking, ‘Yeah, right, sure you get laid!’ And wondering if the subtext here, as in other instances where I’ve heard this opinion expressed, is: basically I really enjoy men’s locker room humour and I don’t feel comfortable at all with women. I also wonder if the objection from the survey re: women making jokes is that humour suggests intelligence, as in the original use of the word ‘wit’ – e.g. it can suggest capacity to make social comment. I would have thought the more interesting question might be more rather which genres of humour (e.g. slapstick, irony, etc) the sexes tend to utilise more, and how, and why, etc (but that’s way too serious and anthropological of me.) And: what’s the point of a relationship if you can’t both have a bit of a laugh – at each other’s jokes? The other thing was is that being a woman, none of this really tallied with my experience. I can think of loads of hilarious women of my acquaintance and lots of humorous gatherings, often in which joke-making women have predominated, if anything – and the men have laughed too. And if there’s one thing that any men who’ve gone out with me have all said is that I have a great sense of fun or GSOH. In fact, I thought it might be my one redeeming feature. So find survey results hard to believe, personally, (tho have also been advised, usually by women it has to be said, that men might find my sense of humour a little intimidating, esp in its more acid incarnations – but then, this seems to come from the school of thought that men find almost any attribute a woman might have intimidating -- I’ve even heard that big tits can be intimidating -- so tone it down, tread softly on their egos, etc etc etc.) All I can say is: well sorry if you don’t find this blog funny enough because it’s only written by a woman!
I thought it was very cheeky that Belinda Emmett vowed on her wedding day to laugh at Rove's jokes, but added 'even when I don't find them funny'. Wee wee with a twist (segue back to other posts).
I think many men put a high premium on intellectual exchange and aren't bothered so much by gender stuff. But on the whole I think the GSOH problem is real - so is talking over the top of girls. I think most blokes are truly brought up to be the centre of attention, and just don't like it when girls are funny in their own right. Perhaps some of the less bright specimens suspect that women's laughter is actually directed AT them. Which, if they are very dumb, it probably is. But one thing is true, no boy is ever raised to smooth out a woman's ego by laughing at her jokes, whereas many girls are raised to do that for men.
Posted by: Bathsheba | March 04, 2005 at 12:53 PM
Actually i had similar conversation with friend about this recently...her thought was it's not that Australian men don't like intelligence, capability etc, but what they really like is a girly girl (i.e. one who keeps this under wraps with trad femininity). Which ties in, I think, with the GSOH and prevalence of public wee wee girl icon stuff. And why Mia Friedman's more palatable than Corinne Grant (tho CG often plays a very auxiliary role to the blokes on that show), because she can do that Ita Buttrose mag ed 'diplomacy' stuff.
Posted by: elsewhere | March 04, 2005 at 06:21 PM
I think that's true! sad though.
Posted by: Bathsheba | March 06, 2005 at 04:58 PM
Whoops, hit return too early. Or something.
Was going to say: the only thing worse than the Glasshouse are the Glasshouse commercials. Only 20 seconds long but *excruciatingly* unfunny...
And the same is often true of the Denton commercials...
Posted by: Nick Crustacean | March 06, 2005 at 09:10 PM